Update - Fianl Chemo Session...

So here we are in the final stages of scheduled treatment. Chemo session 4. My blood work was good so I'm in the final phase. I'm so glad to be here to today and getting this over with. Sure the rest of the week will be the Chemo come down but hey, it's almost over. I'm kicking cancers ass.

Next week I'm scheduled for a CT scan which is way easier than a PET scan where you have to stay in the machine for 25 minutes with a 45 minute per prep. In two weeks I meet with my doctor and we see where we stand with this situation. I anticipate excellent news.

I am still having considerable trouble swallowing my food every day. It takes an incredible amount of focus when I eat to be sure it's all chewed up and not to just go for it. I have to feel each bite go all the way down before ingesting more food or else there is trouble.

It's very frustrating but it is the initial reason I am in this boat. I still have this Haietal Hernia which will need to be addressed at some time down the road. Sucks to think that beating cancer is just the first step in this healing process. It's a big part and it needs to be beaten first so it it was it is.

Been feeling great for the most part. Pretty normal other than I feel like not me because I have no facial hair. Kind of got used to that so the new look is too much of a reminder that there is a sickness going on. I'm also down to 172 pounds but have been maintaining that weight for the past month or so. Along with that weight loss is a muscle weakness. Feeling like a weakling for sure. Can't wait to bounce out of that stuff.

I do feel like I'm moving out of the patient phase into the cancer survivor phase. It's weird how you can get wrapped up in it. It's easy to fall into the victim role and say I'm sick please care for me or whatever. It's nice to be taken care of and there is nothing wrong with getting into that mode it but that needs to be let go of too in order to heal completely.

There comes a point when you realize that you are going to be OK and it's time to start projecting that energy out to the world so they can see it too. To walk strong and confident that life is there for the making.

As I write this I feel that I have been blessed to a certain degree. So much has shifted inside in a non physical way that it has been somewhat enlightening. I see things slightly different now and I feel different. I can't quite explain how I feel but it's there.

I'm so looking forward to the rest of my life and spending time with my friends and family in a new light of life.

Namaste