Chemo Blahs

One week later I'm coming out of it. The last few days were miserable. One thing I had not expected as a side effect was the suppression of my Will. I had no desire to eat. the thought of food gave me nausea. I could not even get myself to drink water. For three days I could not do what I know I needed to do to get through this.  I lost interest in everything except laying there and sleeping. It kind of freaked me out a bit.

To top it off I've got a cold. Many have said to me "you can't afford to get sick now". I fully realize that but what can one do. Sometimes it's just unavoidable.

Today I called the cancer center and told them what was up. They had me come in for blood work which came back normal and gave me some antibiotics to fight off the chest cold. They also gave me a two and a half hour dose of fluids to get me hydrated and medicated in other ways.

At the moment I feel pretty close to normal other than I'd love to have a juicy burger (sorry vegans) but can't. I miss good food or something bad for you every once in a while. Tomorrow it's back to work to wade through the pile of orders I have to get out in the next few days. I'm sure I can do it as long as I can stay feeling good.

Still feeling sick from the chemo

Today is Saturday, so day six of this first chemo session experience. Yesterday afternoon I thought I crossed the hump and would start feeling better. Today I slept in, woke up slow. Seem to be lacking motivation. Could be the chemo or any of the other drugs I'm on right now.

I went in to the shop to take care of a few things but before long the nausea set in. Nausea SUCKS. I took my anti nausea meds and drank some ginger tea. Just now getting home it hit me heavy again. I was hoping by now I'd start feeling back to normal but it feels kind of like a lingering flu.

How The Cancer Was Discovered

I think it was in December of  2011 when I decided to contact my doctor for a routine annual exam. When visiting the doctor they told me that I had high blood pressure and they needed to get me on medication to get that under control. So we did that and I went on for about a month with a lot of anxiety about having a heart attack.

One day while driving back from Portland I was having chest pains so the following Monday when I was back at my Doctors office I told him. He took a chest X-Ray and and EKG to check my heart and everything seemed fine as far as he could tell with the exception of the X-Ray showing that my stomach was up in my chest as the result of a haietal hernia.

I'd been having some trouble swallowing and some back pain too so this seemed to explain what might be causing that. They decided to have me talk with a Surgeon to see about pulling the stomach down and fixing the hernia. The Surgeon said he could not make an assessment about what to do until we were sure there was not a tumor blocking my esophagus and causing my swallowing issue.

Nest step was to have them look down my throat with a camera. Needless to say they found a tumor and said it looked like cancer. A week later I found out it was cancer then a week later I found out it was at least stage 3 then a week after that I had a PET scan which confirmed it was actually stage 4 and they also found it in my liver and my lung.

It was that final bit that set me on the course of treatment I have chosen with the chemo. That and the amount of pain and lack of ability to eat really made me feel like knocking it back with the chemo was the way to go. So now here I am in that process.

For those of you who have not followed the entire blog, please know I am aware of the bad aspects of chemo and I am on a nutrition plan for going into it, during treatment and after. I've seen and read about many alternative treatments that have been shared with me and am engaged in some of them as well.

Thanks to everybody for your support. Mary and I are are eternally grateful for your generosity in helping us financially through my benefit fund or helping us with food and other tasks and many thanks for all of the kind words and love you have all sent out way.

Surviving Chemo Session 1

Today is Thursday February 23rd. Got off the chemo pump yesterday. So far so good. It has not been as bad as I was thinking it might be. I did have some heavy nausea on day 2 and yesterday I ate my anti nausea pills ahead of any nausea that might come on.

Mostly what I feel is tired. I had a lot of little naps yesterday. I feel a bit dizzy but then I do have this pain patch I am wearing that is supposed to make you dizzy so it may not be related to the chemo.

Besides the fatigue the other main effect I feel is the lack of appetite. I have to force myself to eat. Taking the day off today to try and focus on that.

In a nut shell, I don't feel 100% but I don't feel that bad either. I still feel strong ready and able to beat this cancer.

Chemo day 2 part 2

Well today went pretty good up to a point. I got a lot done with the help of my friend Charles who stopped in to volunteer some time. Its such a blessing to have great friends.

About 3:00 pm I began to feel woozy, appetite throughout the day was suppressed. When I forced myself to eat it was not fun and I could only eat about half of what was served up. I've also had the hiccups off and on for long periods of time all day.

About 4:00 pm the nausea kicked in and I had to go home. Hit the bed right away. Power napped and now it's on to more water and trying to eat some soup. Hopefully a green smoothie later.

What a ride

Chemo Day 2 part 1

Up today and taking it slow. Woke up feeling hungry but not really able to eat as well as I thought I would. maybe feeling a bit of the appetite suppression. Feeling ever so faint nausea. Got my meds and ginger tea to fight that.

So in a nutshell I feel a little different. Some of that could be psychological.

I'm still on the chemo pump today so I'll be getting dosed as I am at work. Not to worry. If I feel bad I'll be coming home. Mary is taking good care of me.

Many of you have been so generous with your donations, love, sharing and advice. Mary and I really appreciate it. Words can't express what I feel from it. Know that we are there for you in times of need as well. Let us know if there is anything we can do to give back.

We both send you love, light and many blessings.

John and Mary

Chemo Day 1 part 2

So I made it through the day. The worst part was that I had to go to the bathroom every 20 minutes or less then they gave me something that made me go every 2 to 3 minutes. The day went fairly quickly and I'm now home. I'm still on a chemo pump I wear on my hip until Wednesday afternoon.

So far I feel fine but they say it takes a couple of days to hit. I think I'm prepared and ready so I'll try my best to keep you posted.

Mary was great, She hung out with me all day and brought me soup and took care of me. Thank you Mary.

It was great to hear from all of you today who followed the experience and some of you who heard it for the first time. I feel the love and support from you all and it's been amazing and a big part of my healing process.

Thank you to all of you who have made a donation. I will do my best to thank you all personally as time and how I feel permits.

I'm actually going to go to work tomorrow, unless I feel like crapola, and get some jobs out. I'm way behind and one good day could bring me back to a more manageable schedule as I train Jeff.

I'd love to just chill out at home and work on healing but I can't let the business get any further behind.


Blessings to all my friends and family.


John Paul

Chemo Day 1

It's a little after 6 am on Monday February 20th. My appointment is at 9 am. Chillin' out right now, waking up and am of course a bit nervous about the whole thing. Not knowing what to really expect.

I've read about a lot of side effects and I pray I don't have many of them. Some say I won't feel the effects right away.

Today I have a lot of pain which has been pretty steady for a while now. I feel like I'm going in just in time. The  idea with the chemo is to knock this sucker back to where I can manage it better. And be able to eat normally.

I've had some pain pills for the last few days but not sure if I can take them today or not. They are pretty potent and the last thing I want is to be hooked on them. They sure do work though.

So wish me luck today and pray it's an easy road for me. I know your thoughts are with me and for that I am grateful.

Blessing, love and Light to all.

John Paul

Medical Insurance Woes

When I went in  to get my consultation for my chemo port surgery they called me back and asked if I had gotten a call about my insurance. They said the insurance provider was denying my chemo treatment and the surgery for the port.

All I could think at that moment was that this just keeps getting worse every time I come in. Will the news ever get better?

As I sadly walked out of the room I checked my voice mail and there was a message from the cancer institute that the insurance company had reversed their decision and would pay after all but for only  two sessions of  the four chemo sessions the doctors want me to have. So we'll see how that plays out.

I am fortunate that just before this was discovered I was able to get on an Oregon State health insurance plan for low income people. I realize I am way more fortunate than many when it comes to having insurance that but I really don't know how long it will last.

Along with the conventional medical doctors and treatment there is the naturopath oncologist which in all honesty is who I believe is really going to get me through this. I'll talk more about that in another post.

The insurance only covers conventional western medicine will not cover any naturopath medicine, treatments or Naturopathic doctors visits.

Just in the last two weeks I think I've spent close to $1000.00 on the natural aspect of my healing with visits to the nathropath and supplements needed. Expenses are racking up and we have gone through what little savings we had so I'm to the point now where I am asking for help from anyone who can give it. Anything helps. Financial help is welcome but I realize that is a lot to ask so even prayers or kind words of encouragement will do.

I'm so fortunate to have my wife Mary who is suffering hard from this experience. She has been so wonderful in helping me in so many ways to get through this. I really feel it's harder on her than it is on me.

I'm also blessed with the best friends anyone could ask for. I'm overcome with emotions at times when I think of all of those who have offered kind words and prayers for me. Those who have made me soup so I can eat something that tastes good. Keeping myself  fed right now is a big thing since I cannot eat any solid foods. Thank you Ruth for that awesome broccoli soup the other day.

I realize I'm not the only one suffering from this sickness. There are many I'm sure who are far worse off than me that could use the help more than me which is another reason why it is so hard to put this out there and ask for help for Mary and myself as we get through the next few months.

If you feel you can donate to my cancer fund then please know I deeply appreciate anything you can contribute. Money, soup, encouragement, positive loving energy. It's all good.


I will be setting up a main donation page on my website but you can also make a donation from here.

I love you all and wish the best for everyone.
 
John Paul

Today I get my Chemo Port.

It's a little before 5 am and I can't get back to sleep. This is my usual wake up time but today, in about 4 hours, I go into surgery to get a port installed in my chest so they an hook me up to a chemo delivery device I wear for three days starting Monday.

After three days it gets disconnected and two weeks later I do the same thing repeated for two months. Then I go in to get scanned to see if there is improvement, which there will be.

I'll be drugged up but not totally out for this procedure. They say I won't have any memory of it. I have had other other procedures before where they use similar drugs. You go in then the next thing you know you are waking up in recovery.

Needless to say, I'm nervous about the whole thing. It's not something anyone would want to do unless they had to. Mary will be there waiting and my friends Michael and Deborah will be coming from Portland to meet me after I get done.

My surgery starts around 8:45 am so if you read this then I ask for your positive visualizations and prayers that all goes well.

Blessings, Love and Light

Namaste to you all.

:)

Hello My Friends, I'm facing a very serious challenge right now. I've struggled with the idea of whether I should share this information publicly or not. I don't want it to appear that I am looking for sympathy because I'm not. My challenge is no greater than many who suffer similar situations. All I ask is for your prayers, positive outlook, love, support and continued friendship.

I do feel it is important to share my experience in hopes that someone else facing a similar challenge may find something in my experience that will help them on the road to recovery.

I have been diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer with spreading to my liver and my lung. I got the final word on that just this past Monday. It's been 4 weeks of  Doctors here and there to find out each time that the news was worse than expected.

Now I know where I stand in terms of what is going on inside physically. I have shared this with some of my close friends and others who have shared advice regarding what course of treatment I should take. It's been very confusing. Ultimately I have to choose what I feel in my heart because I'm the one facing it.

I've decided to walk the middle road. Naturally the medical Doctors were the main ones that found this situation and they have been great with me. Once I found out it was Cancer I found a naturopath oncologist who knows my medical oncologist and vice a versa. They seem to have mutual respect for each other and will work in conjunction with each other through my treatment process.

The cancer in me so so advanced that I feel that chemo is going to have to be part of this process. I go in tomorrow to have minor surgery to have a port installed into my chest so they can hook me up. I start my therapy on Monday February 19th.

There are many who disagree with the idea of chemo but then many of those I have talked to are not facing this. I can't eat solid food. I can barely swallow. I've lost 40 pounds and I know in my heart that this is the right choice for me along with guided nutrition therapy from my naturopath oncologist to help me get through the chemo and into my remission.

My spirits are good. I'm optimistic and positive I can beat this. Yes I am afraid too. Mostly of the process of getting through this. At times my emotions run high. Usually when I see my wonderful wife Mary and how she is suffering through this as well. When I tell my friends and I see their reaction it hurts to see them suffer that sadness. I also feel so wonderfully blessed by this because I can feel their love for me and it is a beautiful thing.

This entire thing changes ones perspective for sure. I'll share more of my thoughts and experiences as I can. Until then. Namaste my friends.